wor-ship n. ardent devotion and adoration

"No one lives outside the walls of this sacred place, existence."

~ St. Francis of Assisi ~

"When God said, 'My hands are yours,'

I saw that I could heal any creature in this world;

I saw that the divine beauty in each heart

is the root of all time

and space."

~ Rabia ~

"Everything I see, hear, touch, feel, taste,

speak, think,

imagine,

is completing a perfect circle

God has drawn."

~ Meister Eckhart ~

"Even 

after

all this time

the sun never says to earth,

'You owe me.'

Look 

what happens

with a love like that -

it lights the whole world."

~ Hafiz ~

"It could be said that God's foot is so vast

that this entire earth is but a

field on His toe,

and all the forests in this world

came from the same root of just

a single hair

of His.

What then is not a sanctuary?

Where then can I not kneel

and pray at a shrine

made holy by His

presence."

~ St. Catherine of Siena ~

"We see but dimly through the mists and vapors;
Amid these earthly damps
What seem to us but sad, funeral tapers
May be heaven's distant lamps."
 

~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ~

"We do not inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children."

~ Haida Indian Saying ~

"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."

~ Henry David Thoreau  ~

 "Surviving is important.  Thriving is elegant."

~ Maya Angelou ~

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

~ Matthew 11:28, King James Bible ~

"God is always coming to you in the Sacrament of the Present Moment. Meet and receive Him there with gratitude in that sacrament."

~ Evelyn Underhill ~

*all images copyright 2010 Tina Marks
*all images are the property of All Saints Episcopal Church and Tina Marks.  Reproduction without the express written permission of the author strictly prohibited.

~ With the highest honor, respect, and gratitude to All Saints Episcopal Church, Sunderland for welcoming me, for their open door policy, and for allowing me to call this sacred space "home." ~ 

Every Day, All the Way

I Will Not Die An Unlived Life

What does that mean to you?

I have all kinds of thoughts and journal entries and images and sayings and daily actions and feelings on the subject!

But, rather than plant verbal seeds or skew what may reside in your imagination, I simply share this poem and a few images that resonate deeply within me........


Here's the poem by Dawna Markova that I embrace:

I will not die an unlived life.

I will not live in fear

of falling or catching fire.

I choose to inhabit my days,

to allow my living to open me,

to make me less afraid,

more accessible;

to loosen my heart

until it becomes a wing,

a torch,

a promise.

I choose to risk my significance,

to live so that which came to me as seed

goes to the next as blossom,

and that which came to me as blossom,

goes on as fruit.

My Humble Prayer of Offering

May I be always remember.

May it surge through my veins...

ripple through my fingertips...

emanate from every pore of my very Being.

May I be granted the clarity and wisdom 

to embody and become it.

May my heart serve this Existence

as an open vessel

for all the days of my life.

And so it is.

"Giving Up Is Not An Option"

What does this image depict to you?
*
*
*
I hope you will take a few moments to really study it....
*
*
*
What does it say to you?
*
*
*
What does it stir in you?
*
*
*
I. am. interested.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once upon a time...

I fell in love with a mermaid.

A shimmering creature

rising

from the depths 

of the Majestic Sea.

An ethereal maiden

in mortal pursuit.

Emerging 

from a 

dark

perilous

sapping 

journey.

Drenched.

Muddied.

Emphatically 

weary.

Yet,

resolute.

Fierce tides

abate

her passage.

Her leer

anchored.

No-thing

dares

or threatens.

Traces

of a journey

anoint

silken limbs

cling hungrily

and

tumble

home.

A lone luster

fancies

her arm,

graces

her brow.

Silent 

sentient

shepherds.

A Mystic Conquest.

A small sacrifice ~ 

for the Redemption

of an adrift

Self.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many years ago I literally fell in love with "How to Catch a Mermaid" by Margaret Dean.  I didn't have the funds to buy the print at the time.  But, I figured there was "plenty of time" ... I revisited this mermaid month after month, year after year, virtually - on the internet - anytime I felt like I needed a boost in confidence or determination.

A few years after I discovered her, I went back to purchase her and the artist had closed her shop.  My heart dropped.  My spirit shriveled.

I continued to admire her on the website, however....and printed poor quality reproductions - pasted on vision boards, pinned to my office bulletin board, hung on the refrigerator.  Clearly, I needed this mermaid in my life.

Once, I found a fly-by-night website that advertised the image on some type of silk square.  I had no use for a silk square at all....but I wanted the mermaid so desperately, I ordered it.  I got ripped off.  They took my money and never sent the product, or answered my emails.

Again, I was disappointed and disheartened.

I pretty much gave up.

Fast forward to 2010, when I host a women's manifestation circle for Midsummer's Eve.  I shared my secret little inspiration with the members of the circle.  They too were smitten.

Purely on a whim, I decided to give it one more try.  Selina Fenech, whom I adore and have made several purchases from in the past, hosts a collective website for fairy artists.  Much to my surprise, Margaret Dean has appeared in my life once again.  Many of her gorgeous creations are profiled, but - no mermaid.

I drop a line, which I expect will never even be answered, asking if there is any chance of getting my hands on the mermaid.  Selina is kind enough to contact Margaret Dean herself and ask permission, which Margaret graciously grants. I am so thrilled - I report back to the women's circle immediately!

Meanwhile, and unbeknownst to me, one of the women, Teresa, has been on a wild goose chase for weeks, trying to obtain the print for me.  Can you believe that?!  Can you believe any of this?!

Teresa asks if I will grant her the honor of purchasing the print for me, as she now truly grasps how much it means to me.

Wanna know the end of the story?

By now, I know you must! :)

~ all the way from the other side of the world, Australia ~

to my bedroom wall ~

*Please please please, forgive me Margaret Dean, for the crappy picture!

Yep!  You read that right!  She's on my bedroom wall - all these years and miles later!

There are so many lessons in this story.  Lessons of women, pulling together, to help make another woman's dream come true.  Lessons of sticking your neck out and having the courage to ask the Universe for what you need and want...laying it right there, on the table (really tough for me sometimes).  Lessons in determination and perseverance.  Lessons in honoring your Self and others.  The list goes on and on, and I hope you will gather your own lessons and inspiration from my story.

I will never awaken the same again...

She is here.

Watching.

Nudging.

Holding my hand.

Whispering...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Giving up is not an option" has been a moniker for myself and my daughter for the last 21 years.  She is probably sick to death of hearing it.  But, I gotta tell ya - whomever is still listening - it has gotten us through some very rough seas and storms!  And, while we may not be all the way "there" (subjective, of course) yet, .... we will not give up ... I will never give up.  It's not an option for the mermaid, and it's not an option for me.

*Much love and gratitude to Teresa Jamison, Selina Fenech, and Margaret Dean for making my wish come true and inspiring me every day.*

 This way to the website

Does that come in seed form?

Yesterday I stumbled into the craziest, easiest pain management technique I have found thus far.

I was separating bird seed with a colandar into a large pot - birds/squirrels, another story for another day.  In order to get them to separate them fully, I have to stir them with my hands.

So....I'm in the middle of this household chore and suddenly I notice:  "Hey!  This is kinda fun!  Let me do it a little more...."  I stir.  I stir slowly.  I stir more quickly.  I close my eyes and notice the textures of the myriad of seeds in this particular songbird blend.  And, only then do I notice...."I think this feels good on my hands."  - stir -  "How could that be and why?" - stir - breathe -  "It must have to do with the nerves in my fingers..."  - stir -  "Yes.  That's it!  Whereas, normally my fingers tingle in a painful way, now they are tingling in a feel-good way." - stir -  "Wow."  - stir - breathe -  "I wonder if different seeds (size and weight) feel different?"  I try them separately.  Indeed, the sunflower seeds feel different than the little tiny seeds - a different kind of therapy.  But, both feel good..... soothing..... quieting...... calming... like thousands of little tiny fingers, massaging my hands.  I hold a handful of seeds and allow them to trickle through my fingers.  Aaaaaahhhhh...... that feels good....

What a bizarre and profound experience!  And, how fun it would be for "my kids" (students) and the seniors who have arthritis in their hands!  And, cheap!  I could buy some bags of inexpensive beans and rice and seeds and get plastic bowls at the dollar store!

I'm sure there is some scientific explanation for my little accidental discovery/ therapeutic technique.  I'm sure I would find it interesting.  But for now, I really don't care much.  It's something to share with others and remember for myself.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Don't be surprised if I end up posting a picture at some point with my feet in a bucket of seeds!  :D

*I wonder if it has anything to do with the energy in the seeds?*

Wilderness

Last night I was thinking about how I wish I could paint my pain.

I searched the internet, looking for an image that "fit."

I found hundreds of pictures.  Some made me cry.  Some made me mad.  Some stirred my empathy muscles - the hollow barrel of my solar plexus - like a butter knife, skimming the sides.

There were paintings in red.  And blue.  And black.  Some very prolific.  Some so powerful, the pain was nearly tangible.

Most of the artists seemed either bright-red angry or helplessly prussian.

I nod my head in agreement. "I feel that."

Still......nothing came close to depicting my pain.  Not that it's so bad, really.  It's just...my pain is ...elusive...tricky...almost like a cawing crow, in it's own way.

My journey through pain is much more like a jaunt in the wilderness.

A barren land of onyx  - with faintly feathered trees - stained droplets - and stroked sunlight - somewhere off in the distance.

That place over there...  

It's only...

A few 

barefoot steps

away -

upon an Earth, 

ignited.

And 

a short stint -

through 

that maize-tinged

maze.

A leap -

one last

thorny mound.

A saunter -

A stumble -

A rise -

One 

drenched 

tendril.  

I dashrunSCREAMfall.

I recline on a rock 

bathe in a stream 

and catch 

a lone butterfly 

in my skirt.  

 

I

am

not

here.

I

am

not

there.

I awaken.  Gaze out the window.  The tree leaves bow...heads heavy... rain-drenched.  Start the coffee.  Open the back door.

...

...

Thought to get my shoes on and dash out there.....see if I could stand in it......catch it in my hands.....

But, you and I both know what would happen.

I am a but a gypsy ~

in the wilderness.

Using demure words ~

as paint.

My Specialty is SQUEEZING. What's Yours?

I've said it before and I'll say it again.....I'm not a talented "artist" in the everyday sense of the word.  However, I do believe creativity is 100% subjective and can be nurtured and channeled in a myriad of ways, as one so chooses.

I'd like to think I exercise my creativity muscles on a daily basis.  To be honest, it's not always easy.  I call it "squeezing."  Sometimes I have to s-q-u-e-e-z-e and almost "make something out of nothing."  It's the loaves and fishes effect, if you will.......

Yep.  I am a Master Squeezer!  :D

But, this is not about ME.  What I really intended to talk about is what it means to be a Divinely Gifted Visionary Healing Artist.

Yeah, THAT'S what I wanted to talk about.

You know what I mean, right?

I have MANY remarkably talented artist friends.   I love them all.  I have their creations all over my house, my office, my studio - you may have received a gorgeous notecard from me at some point in time.  Yeah.  Those are my friends :)

But a Divinely Gifted Visionary Healing Artist is a bit of a different trait, from my perspective.  This is an exceptional GIFT.

Each of the artists I am profiling today has that gift.  These women have taken the time to know me.  To listen to me.  To travel with me and "see" my own visions......what I see and hear and feel and need.  Not only do I consider this a divine gift, but I acknowledge that it takes a tremendous amount of hard work.  Work on intuition.  Work on willingness - to open yourself as a vessel; allowing your hands to be a tool for someone else, and in reality, for all of humanity... 
I. HONOR. THAT.

So, if you are on a healing journey (who isn't?) or, like me, find yourself artistically challenged, you need to check out these creatrixes!

Maia Waye

http://www.etsy.com/shop/maiaart

Maia is responsible for the notecards everyone compliments me on; private drawings she has and continues to create for me personally; and just all-around being a wise and extremely talented, inspiration.  There is no other word for it.  I honor you, Maia Waye.

Montserrat Bennett

www.thesacredfeminine.com

"Mo" is the one who creates my candles and soaps from scratch, based on my relayed visions and desires.  She's all the way over on the other side of the U.S.......how can she know me so well?  I honor you, Montserrat Bennett.

Lorraine Rimando

http://www.spiritualscentsaromatherapy.com/

Lorraine is my little miracle worker.  She is the one who created the "Floating Soulshine" blend you are all so crazy about (and so am I!).  But, far beyond that... all I have to do is call or email or sometimes a short text (lol) what is ailing me...she immediately she works her little magic and sends it over in a bottle.  Really!  It's unbelievable.  I honor you, Lorraine Rimando.

Brenda Delaney

www.theglitzygypsy.com

Brenda makes healing dolls.  Let me say that again.....Brenda makes healing dolls!  Mine is named, Shannon.  And, as she lovingly and intentionally pieces together these majestic works of art, she interweaves words of healing - inside the doll!  Do not even ask me how she does that.  You will have to ask her yourself :)  She also makes jewelry and all kindza glittery things that delight women.  Visit Brenda.  You simply MUST.  I honor you, Brenda Bliss Delaney.

Nici Derosier

http://www.artshapedworld.com/

Nici is perhaps one of the most intuitive and ingenius artists I have ever met.  She can literally create anything out of anything.  I'll let you oooooh and aaaaah over her yourself.  But it's pretty much as simple as this.....I phone Nic and say...."Nic, I need XYZ for a very special person (yes, sometimes ME) who is not feeling quite up to snuff, and it needs to look like this and feel like this....."  Next thing I know......IT shows up in the mailbox.  Seriously...astounding.  I honor you, Nici Derosier.

Denise Weller

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30521261&id=1495095850#!/profile.php?id=1495095850

My dear friend, Denise, is camera-shy.  And website-shy.  And Facebook-shy.  Just a few of many qualities that make her such a priceless gem.  She is the one who is responsible for creating my "Eve Herself" logo - this was done from a "drawing" (if you wanna call it that) I sketched on a napkin when we were having lunch one day.  She is humble and compassionate and has a heart that shines to the ends of the Earth.  Her healing gifts are most radiant when she is using therapeutic art to help children with emotional and behavioral disorders.  Her quiet presence alone, heals me.  I honor you, Denise Weller.

No, this is not an infommercial, folks.

I offer these women as keys - treasures - the secrets to my success, abundance, and perpetual unfolding.

Do with this what you may *grins*

Journey of the Wounded Healer

I love Alex Gray's work, and suffice it to say -
I find this depiction nothing less than -

PROFOUND.

*click on the photo to enlarge

~ How to silence a poetess ~

Words

Pale

in comparison.

*note - these photos are raw - I'm not a huge fan of altering captured moments and living beings in nature - they are breathtaking, just as they are........click each picture to fully appreciate.....

heh....I dream of possibilities with a high-quality "tool" in my hands.......

"I was only sleeping"

Sitting on the step drinking my coffee this morning, communing with my little plant, "Joyce's Rhapsody."

 love never forgets

I've been a bit upset because I accidentally broke it when I was trying to tie up some of the gorgeous blossoms to give them some support.  As some of you may recall, this is the beauty I planted in honor and memory of my friend, Joyce, who recently passed away.  Every day I go out and water it and whisper, "Grow, grow, little plant.  Please don't die on me."  It did nothing for weeks.  It didn't die.  But it didn't thrive.  Now, all of a sudden.......it is sprouting forth at lightning speed!  I'm not kidding....sometimes I'll leave for a few hours and swear it has grown 1/2" by the time I get back!  THIS makes me happy!

On the other hand......

I still have some real concern for these poor trees.  I look at them every day.  Touch them.  Give them healing energy.  I guess some people would call them hopeless and just chop them down.  I simply can't give up on them.  I had a thought this morning that maybe I should really go buy some "tree medicine."  Then....as I was walking back to the house.......

...this little beauty shouted out at me, "Look at me!  Look at me!  I haven't asked or needed anything and look at me!"

What's funny is....this photo is raw - completely untouched - no flash, no Photoshop, no nothing - and look at how crisp and still all of the greenery is, and by contrast, how she is moving and makes herself look like a bright, white, star!  It's almost as if she is saying, "First ya gotta catch me!"  :D