Heaven Beside You

Didn't sleep very well last night *sigh* My foot is "changing" again. It's so odd (and miraculous) how it goes through a new phase every couple of days. Healing - it's actually very profound to watch, if you choose to pay attention. I guess most people are too busy whining. They are missing out! This morning I am grateful for keen awareness.


I can't believe how loose the boot is now. Almost uncomfortably loose! I'm thinking - my foot must have been really swollen, even several weeks before the surgery when I went to get fitted for the boot. Was it that swollen, peeps? You mean I had cankles and nobody told me?! lol I guess I had just gotten used to it. I'm going to ask them to check the fit on Monday...can't have anything going awry - not after all I've been through - NOPE.  NO WAY, NO HOW!

You also may have noticed (as did I) that I haven't mentioned my neck! Oh yeah, my neck. My neck felt really good for about a week. Hmmmm.....I have to wonder - was that because I was preoccupied with my foot and didn't notice how my neck was feeling? eh, I doubt that.  Or...has the steroid actually started working? As of this writing, I think the epidural did some good; I just wish it would have lasted longer. In any event, the past couple of days it seems as if somebody has slowly turned the electricity back on in my arm. (WHO DID THAT??!!) Maybe I need another epidural? From what I understand, most people get them in a series of three. The other one went so well, I wouldn't be opposed to trying it again. ~ I must chuckle at myself here ~ Can you believe I would actually volunteer for another "procedure"?! Did I lose track of my mind at the hospital whilst in a drug-induced coma? Whomever has seen my mind, please return it ASAP!  lol  We shall see on Monday I spoz, as I have an appt. with the spine doctor as well (efficiency, yanno *winks*)

*I digress*

So...there are advantages to being up in the middle of the night :-) Guess that's why I've always been a night owl! It's like there are little tiny secrets hidden in the trees and only revealed to "us" in the witching hour. M-A-G-I-C! *big grins* Ssssssshhhhhh! Again, I happen to think alot of people are missing out. But, hey, that's their prerogative and besides...don't need "them" invading MY time and space! :)

Last night was an absolutely ENCHANTING night! There was a balmy breeze that reminded me very much of the Caribbean. The sky was so clear and dark it looked like an indigo canvas. The stars were carefully laid out atop the tallest trees in our woods like a huge blanket of twinkle lights. I gave some serious thought to sleeping on the deck in my lounger. And, the only thing that kept me at bay was fear of being gobbled by mosquitos. As many of you know, I am terribly allergic to mosquitos, and, well......I'm not taking any chances. Not yet, at least. Maybe next week ;) *afterthought - would have been a GREAT night to sleep in my little studio! I have to remember that!*

We have a little bunny, affectionately known as, "Santiago," who only comes out at night. Oddly enough, the dog does not bother him at all! I can't figure out if he doesn't notice him or just doesn't care. Funny. Santiago exhibits no sign of fear either! Quite entertaining, actually.

Came back inside, got a big glass of ice water, new ice pack, fixed my pillows and blankets, and laid back down.

* Listen! * Listen! * Aaaaahhhhhh.......

Blessed S-I-L-E-N-C-E! Oh, how I love thee!

Beloved D-A-R-K-N-E-S-S! Oh, how I love thee!

Blissful B-R-E-E-Z-E! Oh, how I love thee!

I catch myself holding my own breath, for fear of somehow shattering the moment. Isn't that crazy?! Silly, silly Tina!

My own instructional dialogue spontaneously begins to play in my head......

Long, slow breath in through the nose.....

Longer, slower, eeeeeeeeeasy breath out through the mouth........

Long, slow breath in through the nose......

Longer, slower, eeeeeeeeeesy breath out through the mouth........

Long, slow breath in through the nose......

Longer, slower, eeeeeeeeeesy breath out through the mouth........

Relax your limbs. Allow them to sink into the bed.

Relax the back of your head.

Relax your jaw. Unclench your teeth.

Relax your eyelids....like blankets over your closed eyes.

Exhale. Relax your heart. Relax your heart. Relax your heart.

Allow it to become very warm...radiant...glowing...

Healing energy. Slowly oozing to all your extremities.

Yes, like the salt lamp to your left :)

Exhale. Relax even your mind. Relax your mind. Relax your mind.

Allow it to become completely empty. Silent. Clear.

Yes, like the open window with billowing sheers caressing her shoulders to your right.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Breathe it in.

Capture.

*smiles*


Fondly,

TLYTC