I Just Changed My Name to Justitia

Me, to insurance company rep:  There has been some mistake.  You sent a bill here for $753 with my husband's name on it and he has never even been to your hospital!

Him:  Has he had physical therapy at the Orthopedic and Sports Medicine Center?  (which is in a medical building adjacent to the hospital campus)

Me:  Yes, but what does that have to do with anything?

Him:  Oh, that is our facility charge -  the charge for using the space.

Me:  Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!  For how many visits?

Him:  One.

Me:  Are you kidding me?

Him:  No Ma'm.

*silence*

Me:  Ok, please don't take this personally or think I am taking it out on you - I understand you are doing your job, but.......are you *expletive* kidding me?!  Let me get this straight.  Your hospital charges $700 for the use of a room for 1/2 hr. while a physical therapist works with my husband?  And even worse, passes that cost on to the patient?

Him:  Well, not to the patient, but to the insurance company.  You DO have insurance, don't you?

Me:  That's beside the point.  You are charging SOMEBODY $700 for 1/2 hour, am I right?

Him: Yes.

*inhale.  count to three.  exhale*

Me:  Again, please excuse me, but..........That's the most absurd damn thing I have ever heard in my entire life.  And, whether they are ripping off me or the insurance company off or some poor soul that doesn't even have insurance, it's 100% pure, all natural, organic BULLSHIT.  Thank you for your time and kind assistance.  Have a blessed day.  *click*

Lady Justitia, Roman Goddess of Justice

*Aside - does this get a rise out of me?  You bet your sweet toes it does.  And... I know I know I know.....I am fighting a losing battle against a huge monster that is far bigger than me, and I will not win (this time).  However, I will put my foot down (pun intended) in my own little way.  They will not rip anybody off and put my name on it!  I know one little thing - I will make damn sure - I will preserve my own health and well-being and get the treatment(s) I need (including physical therapy) but not one visit more than that.  Not one session more.  Not one minute more.  No way.  No how.  I refuse to feed THE MONSTER any more than I absolutely have to, to take care of ME.  This is my own tiny way of making a statement.

Therefore, I shall carry on by:  not moving my ankle, but......moving my toes, massaging my foot and leg, hip openers, hamstring stretches, 4 stretches, Reiki, i.e., I'll do my own dang therapy!

And, furthermore...

*boot-clad kick to the groin*

"THERE! TAKE THAT YOU - YOU - YOU - BIG, UGLY, MEAN U.S. HEALTHCARE SYSTEM MONSTER!"

p.s. if this is any indication - oh my - just wait until that bill comes for my surgery! I don't think I live here anymore...