Namaha

~ the "lesser known" Sanskrit word that means "not me" or "its not about me."  It reflects the notion that we are not the ones in control.  During those inevitable times when we feel lost or confused, don't know which way to turn, or when our best-made plans go awry, trust that all is as it should be and remember, Namaha~

Inhale:  It's not about me.  Namaha.
Exhale:  All is well.  Namaha.
Inhale:  There is a greater plan.  Namaha.
Exhale:  I have faith.  Namaha.

Me and Namaha go way back.  Yep.  I confess. I've had a secret romance with Namaha for years.  Namaha hides in my pocket like a handkerchief or worry stone or good luck charm.  We are destined to go places, Namaha and me :)


So, I've been thinking alot about the direction of this blog.  And, indeed, I think it has been and continues to serve its purpose.  I am truly blessed with many people who genuinely care about my well-being and are interested in my progress.  For that, I am most grateful.  But, can you imagine me trying to respond to all the emails and voice mails and text messages, especially given the snail's pace at which I'm currently um....hobbling (cuz, the word "moving" certainly doesn't fit at this time)? I'm already behind as it is!  And it makes me feel terrible when I accidentally forget to respond to someone or thank someone.  Cuz, that's just ME.


But everyone knows I'm ok now.  And on my way.  And God(dess) knows how long this could go on, right?  I mean, realistically, a healing journey lasts a lifetime, does it not?  And, I do recognize that people could get a little bored with hearing about my foot every day, no matter how much they love me.  Seriously, as much as YOU - my friends and family and students - are a part of me - my healing journey is much more about US, than it is about ME.  And, I realize more and more every day, the ripple effects of my car accident and my surgery and so on and so on.  Yeah, I realize more and more every day...it's not just about me.

Back to my contemplation.  So, how do I go about establishing a boundary - a goal - a cutoff point - before this thing suddenly morphs into a wandering ivy?

That's what was on my mind the other day when I accidentally (or not) stumbled into a blog that had a tremendous impact on me.  And, much like a small but very powerful, antithetical twister, it came - it went - and all that remains is residuum.  Not even sure I could find the darn thing again if I wanted to; and yeah, I know, I should have bookmarked it.

The subject matter was a young woman's recovery from the Brostrom procedure (the same surgery I had) and a number of other procedures on her foot.  Within these pages she chronicled her progress pre and post surgery for one year. Keep in mind - there are innumerable like-type forums, websites, and blogs on the net.  But, there was something about this one.  There was something about her.  She included pictures of herself.  She included descriptions of her procedures.  She held nothing back - on good days and bad days and everything in between.  At first glance I thought to myself....."a whole year?  now, this is sure to get super boring!"  But I gotta tell ya - even to my own surprise - I ended up reading every single post from beginning to end.  It takes alot to keep my interest like that!  

Yeah.  I'd say she touched me.  She had an impact on me.  I found myself crying with her, hurting with her, taking baby steps with her, falling down with her, getting back up with her, and rejoicing with her.  And when I reached the end - much like a great book or kickass concert or beach vacation - I didn't want it to be over.  I wanted to hear more and learn more.  That, in my humble opinion, is impact.  That is influence.  That is how to leave a watermark.  And THAT is what I wanna do.

*pause for breathing practice and neck stretches*

Given that her journal was dated several years ago and appeared to be left untouched since, I had to wonder - did she leave it there purposely for just such a person as Moi?  Did she just get caught up in the rest of her active, post-surgery life (she's a runner, as I recall) and forget it was even there?  Does she herself return to it occasionally, somewhat like an old diary from one's adolescence?  I dunno.  But I just wonder things like that :D

I kinda wish I could thank her - Ms. Nameless Inspiration O Mine.  As absurd as it sounds, I feel like I know her.  Like she's my younger sister or something.  I can seriously see myself hugging her and patting her on the back and saying, "YOU GO, GIRL!"  Funny...

*pause for spinal twists*

Where was I again?  Oh yeah - Namaha  :)

So, what I want to say is - I'm gonna keep writing this blog.  Until I feel like it's "done" and has served it's purpose.  It's purpose for my family and friends and students.  It's purpose for me.  And, who knows?  Perhaps it's purpose for someone who accidentally bumps into it in the year 2013.  

See...I am not the only Little Yogini That Could.  There are many!  Who?

• The senior citizen who comes to my class even when their joints ache - he/she is a Little Yogini That Could.
• My Cammie - she is a Little Yogini that Could.
• The student who claimed "she would NEVER get her butt over her head for a shoulder stand" (you know who you are) - she is a Little Yogini That Could.
• Mom - you are a Little Yogini That Could.
• The lone, hesistant male, in a class full of females - he is a Little Yogi That Could.
• Each and every one of you who live with chronic pain every day - you are a Little Yogini That Could.
• You - you over there in that gorgeous triangle pose - you are a Little Yogini That Could.
• You - tired Mommy, Wife, Student, Employee, and amazing Friend - yeah, you!  You are a Little Yogini that Could.
• Yet another student - the 5 year-old little girl who is mute - she is a Little Yogini That Could.
• Emanuel - still doing yoga at 92 years old and one month before he passed.  Yes, Emanuel was definitely a Little Yogi That Could. 

You get it, right?  It's not about me.  It's about US.  And, for that reason, I will continue to do this.  I will continue to allow myself to be a vessel and to in turn use this blog as my vehicle.  (Pun intended - it look like the Honda's gonna be parked for a while).  Cuz, this is my way.  And those who are meant to come along for the ride WILL.  Those who get bored WON'T.  And I'm totally OK with that :)

All of that being said - who's designing our T-shirts???   *smiles*